The importance of discipline and setting limits

"Young children tend to be very curious, action oriented and excitable. They want what they want right now. Without boundaries, their curiosity, impulsiveness and impatience can lead to hurt or frustration" Setting Limits: Tips for Parents of Young Children. 1987 Project Enlightenment. Johston, Wilson, Kronberg.

When I read this statement in a pamphlet on parenting it immediately sparked thoughts and reflections on my own experiences as a child and as an adult. It is so true that children need limits and discipline, not only to protect them from harm but also to teach them how to become self controlled and self disciplined.

In every persons young life we find ourselves at a stage when we are no longer bound by our parents' rules and constraints and have the freedom to do whatever we want with no one to answer to, in a sense. To be able to protect ourselves in this new found freedom and make wise decisions, we have to rely on our own perceptions, moral values and ability to self discipline and control our behaviors, all of which are taught skills.

I think we all can reflect back upon experiences in our young adult and adult lives when we could saved ourselves pain and frustration if we were a little less impulsive, more insightful, more wise, more disciplined in our behavior. Hopefully, we are more the wiser because of our experience and realize the importance of limits and discipline. As parents, we should be passing this knowledge on to our children through discipline and love.

Taking the time to care, takes no time at All

I've come to see that in life it is very easy to be come all wrapped up in the commotion and busyness of maintaining bills, status, work, and life in general. If we are not careful, as parents (friends, daughters, sons, grandchildren or whatever status you may hold), it becomes way to easy to forget to do the simple things that shows the ones we love, how much we care.

We fool ourselves when believing if we can't do something extra special or big then we should do nothing at all until we can. Do we then make the time to do that something special?

What do we want others to do for us to show us that we care? Is it usually something big that we desires ourselves?

I simple letter or email that says I love you, a compliment and smile in the morning, a kiss on the forehead....

It takes no time to do the little things that shows that we care, the same simple things we would appreciate if someone does for us.

My Precious Child

When Mommy's not there, doesn't mean I don't love you.
When Mommy stays busy, doesn't mean I'm ignoring you.
When Mommy falls asleep listening to your conversations, doesn't mean Mommy's not interested.

Please excuse me my Precious child when I'm too busy to talk to you.
Please excuse me my Precious child when I'm too tired to pay attention.
Please excuse me my Precious child when I'm too emotional to connect with you.

You are my Precious child, and for you I'll work constantly,
to insure your safe, well fed and clothed.
You are my Precious child and for you I'll work until I'm ragged,
to secure your youth is care free, worry free and fun.
You are my Precious child and for you I'll work overtime, double time and all the time,
to keep up with rising prices to give you what you want and what you need.

Please forgive me my Precious child for doing this alone, but this is the path I walk
and the only way I know to make sure you never lack for anything.

Help me my Precious child, because you miss me.

If You See My Child

(author unknown)

If You See My Child.......

If you see my child alone

…please look out for him and I’ll look out for yours

If you see my child scared

…please look out for him and I’ll look out for yours

If you see my child hurt

…please look out for him and I’ll look out for yours

If you see my child with a stranger

…please look out for him and I’ll look out for yours

If my child needs help for advice

…please look out for him and I’ll look out for yours

If my child is happy or sad

…please look out for him and I’ll look out for yours

If my child is discouraged or excited

…please look out for him and I’ll look out for yours

But if you don’t want to look out for mine…

I’ll still look out for yours.

Anonymous

It takes a village to raise a child

The saying is true, it takes a village to raise a child. As a single parent, we are the one in charge. We work hard to have control and struggle to maintain control in our home and with our children. However, when it comes to the lives of our 'so impressionable' children, control is what we sometimes feel like we are loosing as our children are introduced to new ideas, concepts and behaviors through interactions that take place outside of our homes. We as parents have a responsibility to teach our children how to be positive contributors to the environment around them. We must instill in them the importance of building and maintaining positive relationships with others that is built on respect, patience and understanding. To do this, we must practice the same to serve as examples for our children. Not only this, but the people that know you and respect you are the ones who will support you and look out for the welfare of you and your family.

Keep good relationships with as many of your friends that you can and build new relationships with people in your community at home, work and your child's school. Strong quality relationships with others in your community is an invaluable resource for a single parent. These are the people that will aid you and help keep you informed and equipped with what you need to be successful. They are your eyes and ears, watching over your children when your not around them. These people care about you, and care about your children and will be able to lend a helping hand when you need it.

Time Management

Friday, February 8, 2008

One of the biggest challenges I face as a single parent is managing time. There is a lot involved in being a parent, not to mention a single parent. With all that is required, it is a challenge finding enough time to fulfill all your responsibilities, have time to relax with your family, as well as have time for yourself.

Managing time is as important as managing money. The two go hand in hand. I find when I plan my time well, I save money. It is important to master the ability to manage time efficiently. It is a skill that gets better with practice.

Just as in managing money, the first and most important step in managing time is allocating time for yourself first!